Chapter 13
But I kept moving.
I had spent too many years believing that staying quiet was the same as being dignified.
Sometimes dignity meant leaving a conversation before another person could use your pain for entertainment.
Sometimes it meant telling the truth and letting it stand.
That evening, Gideon asked me to stop by his office.
The skyline behind his desk glowed with the lights of buildings turning on one by one.
"How did the interview go?" he asked.
"They asked difficult questions."
"And?"
"I answered them."
He nodded.
"Good."
I hesitated.
"Preston knows I filed."
"I assumed he would find out."
"He thinks I'll come crawling back."
Gideon's expression remained calm.
"Will you?"
"No."
"Then that part of the problem is settled."
I almost smiled.
For a man famous for complicated financial decisions, Gideon had an astonishing ability to reduce emotional chaos to a simple question.
He opened a drawer and took out a small card.
"There's something else."
I looked at him suspiciously.
"What?"
"The gala."
My stomach tightened.
"I haven't decided whether I'm going."
"That's your decision."
He placed the card in front of me.
It bore the name of a couture designer.
"I know someone who creates exceptional evening gowns," he said. "I asked whether she'd be available for a private commission, if you wanted one."
I stared at the card.
"Gideon, I can't accept something like that."
"You haven't heard what I'm offering."
"I'm listening."
"Not a dress to hide your scars. Not a dress to make a statement for me."
He paused.
"A dress that makes you feel like yourself."
My throat tightened unexpectedly.
He continued, "You could wear a high-backed gown. You could wear a shawl. You could decide not to attend. None of those choices would make you weak."
I looked down.
"But if you want to go," he added, "you shouldn't have to spend the evening feeling trapped in a costume designed around somebody else's shame."
For a long time, I said nothing.
Then I asked the question that frightened me most.
"What if I don't want to cover them?"
Gideon didn't look surprised.
"Then don't."
I swallowed.
"What if everyone stares?"
"Some people probably will."
His honesty made me look up.
"But people stare at unusual things every day," he continued. "That doesn't give them ownership of what they're looking at."
I ran my finger along the edge of the card.