Chapter 24
Then I heard the faint sound of water running in the bathroom and remembered everything.
Marcus came out wearing the hospital clothes he had brought home. He had not slept much. Neither had I.
Emily was still asleep upstairs.
We sat at the kitchen table with coffee neither of us drank.
“I’m scared,” he said.
It was the first thing he had told me that morning.
I turned toward him.
“Thank you for telling me.”
He gave a breathless laugh.
“That’s all?”
“No. I’m scared too.”
He looked at me.
“Are you?”
“Yes.”
“Of the surgery?”
“That. And what happens after.”
He nodded.
“So am I.”
We sat there, hands joined between us.
At six-thirty, Dr. Patel arrived to take him back to the hospital.
Emily came downstairs in pajamas and hugged him tightly.
“Tell me when you wake up,” she said.
“I will.”
“Even if you’re tired?”
“Even then.”
“And if you don’t know how it went?”
“I’ll tell you that too.”
She nodded.
Then she handed him a folded piece of paper.
“For your pocket.”
“What is it?”
“A picture.”
He opened it.
She had drawn the three of us standing beneath a crooked yellow sun. Marcus’s right hand was larger than the other, with a red heart in the palm.
He pressed the paper to his chest.
“I’m keeping this.”
“You better.”
He kissed her forehead.
At the hospital, I signed forms, answered questions, and sat beside Marcus while the anesthesiologist reviewed the procedure. This time, nothing was hidden from me. The risks were explained. The possible outcomes were explained. The uncertainty was allowed to exist without anyone trying to soften it into a promise.
Before they wheeled him away, he looked at me.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long to say I was afraid.”
“I’m sorry I let you believe you had to be brave alone.”
The doors opened.
Then he was gone.
The waiting room clock moved slowly.
Dr. Patel checked on me twice. David brought coffee. Nora Bell sent a message through the hospital liaison asking whether Marcus had received the letter. I told her he had.
At noon, Dr. Patel came out.
“The procedure went well.”
I closed my eyes.
The relief was physical.
“Is he awake?”
“Not yet, but he’s responding as expected. The pressure on the nerve was significant. We’ll know more about recovery over the next several weeks.”