Chapter 4
Before she forgot Sunday mornings.
Before she forgot the night he sat on the bathroom floor beside her after another negative pregnancy test and told her they were enough even if children never happened.
Then I remembered the pictures in my purse.
For one reckless second, I nearly pulled them out.
I imagined laying all three ultrasounds across the contract.
Baby A.
Baby B.
Baby C.
I imagined Ryan’s face changing.
I imagined the divorce disappearing.
Maybe he would stand.
Maybe he would say Vanessa no longer mattered.
Maybe he would choose me.
Then he checked his watch.
It was a tiny movement.
Barely anything.
But I saw it.
I saw impatience.
He wanted this finished.
He had somewhere else to be.
Maybe Vanessa was waiting.
Maybe his attorney was.
Maybe a board meeting mattered more.
The reason suddenly did not matter.
And with painful clarity, I understood what would happen if I showed him those pictures.
I would never know why he stayed.
Not for the rest of my life.
Every time he touched me, I would wonder if it was love or obligation.
Every anniversary, I would wonder whether he was thinking about Vanessa.
Every time he held one of our children, I would ask myself whether three unborn babies had accomplished what I could not.
I slowly removed my hand from my purse.
“What’s the settlement?”
Ryan blinked.
The shift confused him.
“You haven’t read it.”
“I asked how much.”
His face changed.
The pain inside me sharpened because I knew exactly what he thought.
He thought he had discovered my price.
“Ten million dollars,” he said.
I nodded once.
A moment later, my phone vibrated on the table.
I looked down.
Incoming wire transfer: $10,000,000.00
Ryan had sent the money before I signed.
He had been that certain.
For several seconds I stared at the number.
Then I laughed.
I did not mean to.
The sound simply escaped.
Ryan’s eyes narrowed.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing.”
I picked up the pen.
“Natalie.”
I signed the first page.
Then the second.
Then the final page.
My hand shook only once.
I pushed the folder back to him.
“Ryan, you may be the greatest thing that ever happened to my bank account.”
His expression became ice.
Good.
Let him hate me.
Hatred was cleaner than pity.
Let him tell Vanessa I had only wanted money.
Let him rewrite our marriage into something cheap enough that leaving it did not hurt him.