Chapter 15
“For what?”
I stared at the kitchen wall.
“For a divorce, Daniel.”
He made a sound as though the air had been knocked out of him.
“Claire, please. Don't do anything rash.”
“Rash?”
“We've been together twenty-seven years.”
“I know.”
“You can't just throw that away.”
I closed my eyes.
The irony was almost unbearable.
“I didn't throw it away.”
He started to speak.
I continued.
“And filing for divorce isn't something I decided because I met Michael last night. I've been thinking about it for months.”
“Is he influencing you?”
“No.”
“Then why now?”
I thought about that.
Because it was a reasonable question.
Why now, after four months of separation?
Why after a night that had begun with laughter and ended with Daniel asking whether I still belonged to him?
Then I understood.
“Because last night I finally saw the difference between you missing me and you respecting me.”
He said nothing.
“You could stand beside Rachel, holding her hand, and still believe you had a claim on my life. You called our daughter to ask who I was with. You demanded answers you weren't entitled to.”
“Claire—”
“You didn't ask whether I was happy. You asked whether I was seeing someone.”
His voice was very quiet.
“I was jealous.”
“I know.”
“I hated seeing you with him.”
“I know that too.”
“And that doesn't mean anything to you?”
I looked out at the morning sunlight falling across the neglected garden.
“It means you're human,” I said. “It doesn't mean we're meant to stay married.”
He began crying then.
Not loudly.
Just a few uneven breaths, followed by a silence I recognized.
I pressed my fingers against my eyes.
Part of me wanted to comfort him.
That instinct was still there.
But I stayed quiet.
Eventually, Daniel asked, “Is there absolutely no chance?”
I took my time answering.
“I can't imagine trusting you as my husband again.”
He whispered my name.
I continued.
“I don't hate you. I don't want you to suffer. I hope you figure out why you did what you did, and I hope you become a better man because of it.”
My own voice trembled.
“But I don't want to be married to you anymore.”
For the first time, saying those words didn't feel like destroying something.
It felt like telling the truth.
Daniel cried quietly.
Then he said, “I'm sorry I made you feel like you weren't enough.”