MY HUSBAND TEXTED HIS MISTRESS WHILE I WAS GIVING BIRTH—THEN I FOUND THE NURSERY HE BUILT WITH OUR SAVINGS

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Chapter 17

THEME:
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“You had months to be scared.”

“I know.”

“You had one chance to stand beside me.”

His eyes filled.

For a moment, I felt the old urge to make him feel better.

Then I thought of Ruth's hand, Mom's clean socks, Lucy breathing against my chest.

“I hope you're a good father to her,” I said.

“I still love you.”

“I need to go pick her up.”

After the settlement funds arrived, I opened a separate savings account.

Then I spent six hundred dollars on fabric, thread, and the first supplies for an idea I'd put aside when Garrett said we couldn't afford it.

Mom helped me clear a worktable.

This time, nobody told me to stop planning for myself.

PART 8 — THE PEOPLE IN THE ROOM

On Lucy's first birthday, I woke before she did.

For a few minutes, the apartment was quiet.

Our apartment.

Two bedrooms, a narrow balcony, and a kitchen small enough that I could reach the refrigerator from the stove.

I had chosen it because the rent fit my budget and the childcare center was six minutes away.

The first night we slept there, I checked the lock three times.

Then I lay awake listening to Lucy breathe in her room.

I missed Mom down the hallway. I missed having someone notice when the laundry was finished or ask whether I had eaten.

But in the morning, I made coffee in my own kitchen.

There was no conversation waiting to punish me for something I hadn't known.

Lucy woke while I was cutting strawberries.

She stood in her crib, holding the rail, and smiled when she saw me.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

I lifted her and held her cheek against mine.

A year earlier, I had been afraid that everything I could give her had become smaller.

Now there were days when our life felt pleasantly ordinary.

I still worked in payroll.

On evenings when Lucy slept well, I embroidered names on baby blankets and packed orders at the little table Mom had helped me set up.

The business began with gifts for two coworkers.

One asked whether I could make another for her sister. Then somebody ordered a matching set.

I learned to price my time instead of apologizing for charging.

I made mistakes. A package arrived late. I stitched one name incorrectly and replaced the blanket at my own expense.

I kept records and tried again.

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