Chapter 19
Over the next several weeks, Adrian learned his children one small piece at a time.
Noah hated tomatoes but liked tomato sauce, a contradiction Adrian spent an entire dinner trying to understand.
Lily could not sleep if the closet door remained open.
Noah loved astronomy.
Lily drew houses constantly, usually with too many windows.
Both children hated peas.
Both could tell when I was pretending not to be worried.
Noah discovered Adrian played chess and immediately demanded lessons.
Lily discovered Adrian could braid hair because one of his cousins had apparently forced him to learn as a teenager.
The first time I walked into the kitchen and found Adrian Moretti standing behind my daughter with a pink elastic between his teeth while she gave him detailed instructions, I had to turn away before he saw my face.
“Too tight,” Lily complained.
Adrian removed the elastic.
“Again?”
“Yes.”
“This is my fourth attempt.”
“You’re getting better.”
“Thank you.”
“But Mommy does it faster.”
“Your mother does almost everything better than I do.”
I stopped in the hallway.
Lily accepted this as obvious fact.
Adrian looked up and saw me.
Neither of us spoke.
Those moments were dangerous.
Not because I feared him.
Because sometimes, for a few seconds, I remembered the man I had loved.
The man who made coffee before I woke.
The man who sat through boring academic dinners and asked intelligent questions afterward because he had actually listened.
The man who once drove across the city at midnight because I mentioned wanting peach ice cream.
That man had always existed beside the other one.
The one who solved problems with power.
The one who believed fear was safer than vulnerability.
The one who had left me in the rain.
I did not know which version was real.
Eventually, I realized both were.
That frightened me more than deciding one of them had been a lie.
Three weeks after our return, Noah asked Adrian why he had never come looking for us.
We were eating breakfast.
The question landed between us without warning.
Adrian put down his coffee.
“I didn’t know where you were.”
Noah frowned.
“You’re good at finding people.”
I almost choked.
Adrian looked at Marcus, who was standing near the door.
Marcus looked at the ceiling.
Noah continued.
“You found us at the airport.”
Adrian nodded slowly.
“Yes.”
“So why didn’t you find Mom?”
Silence.
I could have saved him.