Chapter 9
“For how long?”
“I don’t know.”
“You cannot keep Lucas from Daniel.”
“I never said I would.”
“You’re taking him.”
“Yes.”
“This is his father’s home.”
“This is your home.”
Her lips pressed into a hard line.
“You should be very careful.”
Dad’s head turned.
I looked at him.
Again, I shook my head.
I had to answer.
“You’ve said that before.”
“And you should have listened.”
“No. I listened too long.”
Marlene took a step toward me.
“You think because your father drove up here in an expensive SUV, suddenly you have options?”
I almost laughed.
If she only knew.
But the strange thing was, for the first time, I did not need her to know.
“I always had options,” I said. “You just convinced me I didn’t.”
Daniel came downstairs.
Marlene immediately turned to him.
“Tell her she can’t take Lucas.”
Daniel froze.
That moment lasted maybe three seconds.
But I watched an entire marriage inside it.
His mother waited.
I waited.
My father waited.
Daniel looked at Lucas.
Then at me.
Finally he said, “Maybe we should all calm down.”
I closed my eyes.
There it was.
His choice.
Not loud.
Not dramatic.
But unmistakable.
I picked up my suitcase.
Dad opened the door.
Marlene’s voice followed me.
“If you walk out now, don’t expect to come crawling back when you realize how difficult life is without us.”
I turned.
“You made sure I knew exactly how difficult life could be with you.”
Then I left.
Dad did not say anything until we were several miles away.
I watched Marlene’s house disappear behind us.
My heart hurt so badly that I almost asked him to turn around.
That is the part people do not tell you about leaving.
Sometimes the right decision does not feel powerful.
Sometimes it feels like grief.
Dad drove with both hands on the wheel.
Finally he said, “You should have called me.”
“I know.”
“Why didn’t you?”
I stared out the window.
“Because I thought needing help meant I had failed.”
Dad nodded slowly.
“And now?”
“Now I think staying silent nearly cost me more.”
He reached across the console and squeezed my hand.
When we reached his house, he carried Lucas inside while I stood in the driveway staring at the darkening sky.
For the first time in six months, nobody asked where I was going.
Nobody checked the mileage.
Nobody asked what I had spent.