Chapter 18
Now it simply hurt.
“I miss you,” he said.
Marina looked up.
“I know.”
“Do you miss me?”
She was quiet.
“Sometimes.”
Hope moved again.
Then she continued.
“But mostly I miss who I thought you were.”
Adam looked at the table.
“That’s fair.”
“It isn’t about fair.”
“No.”
She stood carefully and put on her coat.
Her movements were stronger now.
Still cautious, but stronger.
Adam rose too.
“Marina?”
She waited.
“I’m going to keep showing up.”
“For Nell?”
“For Nell no matter what.”
He paused.
“And for you, if you ever want me to.”
Marina adjusted her scarf.
“That’s the right order.”
Then she walked out into the cold afternoon.
Adam did not follow.
For once, he understood that loving someone could mean allowing her to leave a room without making her departure about your panic.
Chapter 5: PART 5: Adam Finally Learned How Much Work Love Had Been Doing Around Him. Marina Had Already Learned She Could Live Without Performing It.>>>>>>>>>
Adam Bennett came home from a twenty-day “business trip” carrying pink. Chapter 1: PART 1: The Roses Were Too Late. The House Had Already Learned to Live Without Him.
Chapter 5: PART 5: Adam Finally Learned How Much Work Love Had Been Doing Around Him. Marina Had Already Learned She Could Live Without Performing It.
By early May, Nell was two months old.
Spring arrived reluctantly in Pittsburgh.
Trees along the residential streets turned green almost overnight.
The apartment Marina rented was smaller than the house she had shared with Adam, but it had south-facing windows and a little balcony where afternoon sun warmed the railing.
Marina bought almost nothing new.
A secondhand armchair.
A narrow dining table.
A white bookshelf.
Two lamps.
Her mother’s framed photograph stood beside the kettle in the kitchen.
The yellow blanket from Adam’s sister hung over the back of the sofa.
Nell’s bassinet sat beside Marina’s bed.
It began to feel like home faster than Marina expected.
That frightened her at first.
She thought comfort should require more history.
Apparently, peace could build history quickly.
Adam came Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.
Sometimes Marina stayed.
Sometimes she left for an hour and walked through the park alone.
The first time she did, she carried her phone in her hand the entire time.
She returned after twenty-seven minutes.
Nell was asleep on Adam’s chest.
A bottle sat rinsed beside the sink.
The diaper bag was repacked.